One of the most common sexual deviations (or paraphilia) considered Paraphilias: definition, diagnosis and treatment of sadomasochism. Some of its manifestations are inherent even in ordinary sex: patting the buttocks, biting the nipples, holding the hands. However, some people want more than a ” toy ” bite, they feel the excitement of power, humiliation, pain.
It was for them that the BDSM subculture was created, which clearly separated sadomasochism from violent actions, turned sexual deviation into a role-playing game of domination and submission. In fact, this is a game of sadomasochism according to certain rules that are set by the participants themselves.
According to BDSM orientation, participants in actions are usually divided into subordinates (top — top) and subordinates (bottom — bottom), as well as those who combine the desire to subordinate and obey (switch). “Normal “relationships that do not have any of these elements are commonly referred to as” vanilla ” in the community — similar to ice cream flavors: ice cream without additional flavor is called vanilla in the United States.
The abbreviation BDSM contains the names of the main components of this phenomenon.
DB-Bondage and discipline
“Bondage” is not only a restriction of mobility, but also captivity, subjection, submission, restriction of freedom, humiliation, disciplinary actions.
The transfer of power to the upper over the lower for the duration of the action (from the English action — action; it is also called a session) is temporary — in the sense that in the relationship as a whole, the partners are equal.
Why do people want this? Someone wants to give up for a while the role of a person with great responsibility, to be able to let go of himself, to be in a situation where nothing depends on him. Someone such games sexually excite and contribute to achieving orgasm.
DS-Dominance and submissiveness
This is already about relationships in which, by prior agreement, there is an inequality of partners. Why is this necessary and how does it differ from a house-building project? Radically different.
Submissive — a person who seeks to transfer control over some areas of his life to another, because he is afraid of making decisions, is not sure of himself and his strengths, can not understand where to put his skills and abilities. To reach some heights (from good taste in clothing and proper diet to university admission or financial independence), he needs support and direction from an authoritative person, whom he sees as a dominant. The dominant feels comfortable when he leads, he has sufficient strength of mind for this and has natural skills.
SM-sadism and masochism
These are practices that are solely concerned with the enjoyment of causing or experiencing physical pain. One partner does not dominate the other, they are equal. Pleasure in this case is associated with the approach of a person to extreme states-subspace (from the English subspace — subspace; this is a trance state achieved as a result of a sharp release of a large amount of adrenaline), catharsis (tears caused by scrapping, passing the pain threshold), and in some cases, to orgasm.
Thus, BDSM preferences can both turn into a lifestyle and become a big part of family relationships (such relationships are called LS — lifestyle), and end outside the bedroom or consist in rare action games with a normal, “vanilla” life between them. It all depends on the desire, needs and consent of the participants.
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